audrey penven

I'm so pleased with how well that first round of Sponsor a Roll of Film went. It was so exciting to see all these photographs from The Past. The responses that I got from everyone reinforced the idea that this all really matters. I left the darkroom with a stack of prints, impatient and so excited for them to be seen.

Thank you for this.

I've got some more. They are here:

Tonight I did a photoshoot with Kai and Jason on the broken piano. Kai begins grad school this fall in Chicago. They're taking this adventure together.

All the film I put on etsy was sponsored within hours. Now, it's all been developed and scanned. The resulting darkroom sessions were some of the best I've ever had.

Roll #1

This one is cross-processed slide film from the Propane Hunt at the end of May. Sponsored by Mike Estee.

Roll #2

One shot from How to Destroy the Universe at NIMBY, and the rest from the Propane Hunt. Sponsored by Kate McKinley.

Roll #3

More Propane Hunt photos. Sponsored by Courtney Gerzymisch

Roll #4

From further in the past than I suspected. This was from a trip to the Madonna Inn for Star St. Germain's birthday. Mary Bee is the model here. This is one of the first rolls of film I shot in my Mamiya RB67. It was difficult to use back then - easily the largest camera I'd ever tried to carry around. It's more than twice the weight and size of my large format camera. Now, it's very familiar - an extension of me when I hold it. Without those early learning days, I certainly wouldn't be able to carry this camera around to the parties and events where I've gotten such amazing shots.
This one was sponsored by Reed Kennedy

Roll #5

This is my first roll of black and white infrared film, and definitely not my last. There was a lot of strange distortion, possibly caused by heat. I love the look of it anyway.
Sponsored by Dan Garcia

Roll #6

Most of this roll was from the Corpus Callosum show at the Fishtank. Multiple exposures with pretty stage lighting.
Sponsored by Ben Rupert

Roll #7

64 iso Tungsten slide film, shot at Sand by the Ton and then cross-processed. I returned home from that party to discover that all six rolls I posted in the afternoon had been claimed. This one was done and ready to be dropped off at the lab. Nina Alter got this one shortly after I posted it.

Mike and I made a six-sided pinhole camera. it works. it wants bigger film.

I finally turned off the automatic preview on my digital SLR. It was crippling me, and I didn't realize it. The photos are better now. At least, to my eyes.

I've been photographing on film longer than I've known how to read or write. Expressing myself in English feels so clunky compared to what I can do with a camera. I suppose that's my way of apologizing for the possible sloppiness of the words to follow. I've been using the delete key far too much in this blog post. That relates very much to the concept I'll eventually get to.

I hate certain aspects of digital. Instant gratification is great. The ability to review what was just done and use that information to adapt is wonderful. In theory.

For me, photography has always been about the quickness of the mind, creating an image in a thin slice of time. Once the shutter goes, it's permanent. Sure, I can manipulate the image later, but I can only really refine what was done when the photons hit the film.

The lesson of painting class was that I am not a painter. As long as I could continue fucking with the image, I would do so. It would turn to mud. The turning point happened when I struggled with a still life for weeks. There were points in time when it was good, but it wasn't quite what I wanted. It was imperfect, and maybe, just maybe, if I pushed some more paint around, it would get better. In a fit of frustration, I pulled out my camera, photographed the still life and ran off to the darkroom. I glued the photo onto the canvas, sloppily dripped some paint on it, kicked it around on the floor of the studio, and called it done. My professor responded better to that painting than anything else I'd done that semester.

I know my tendency to get caught up in analyzation. This doesn't work when using film. It doesn't work with anything really, it's just easier to pretend in some other contexts. Film camera in hand, I need to trust that I know what I'm doing, so I do. By the time I can check up on it, that moment is long gone.

And there's the danger with digital. When the LCD screen flashes the photo before I can move the camera away from my face, I look at it. I break my connection with what I'm photographing. I am no longer creating - I've switched into analyzation mode. It may only be for a second, but reestablishing a connection takes longer than that.

At Sand by the Ton, I caught myself compulsively looking at the screen as trapeze dancers performed above my head. What? With something so dynamic, what information could I possibly gain by staring at a little screen? The time for review is later. It's like trying to run while watching your feet. I looked away from the performers for a few moments more. The preview had to die, immediately.

The first few shots after that were kind of scary. What if something was set wrong? What if I could make it better somehow? To comfort the screaming, insecure thing in my head, I grabbed the familiar Contax film SLR that hung by my right hand. Oh right, I do this all the time. Shut up screaming thing.

Friday night at the DNA Lounge we died and went to Hell, and what a beautiful Hell it was... Once again, Hubba Hubba Revue put on an amazing show.

It was a craigslist post and a fire jam at the old NIMBY nearly three years ago that brought me into the Bay Area community of artists, geeks, burners, performers (and whatever other descriptions you can throw at this group). It was there that I met my future housemates. That night, Nicole started teaching me to spin poi.

Fire jams will always have a special place in my heart because of this. They've picked up energy again. Sunday nights at the new NIMBY are full of fire. I want to share with you some photos by my friends.

by Eden Hensley

by Kristin Ankiewicz

by Ed Hunsinger

Today is Nifer Fahrion's birthday! Squeeeeeeee!

Last night at the Buckshot Bar, friends gathered for a night of games and celebration. Skee ball, arcade games, boggle, darts! There was a photobooth as well, but it wasn't working. We piled in there anyway and I got some fun shots. This may be the first time I've used the flash on this camera...

All the film I put online on Saturday has been sponsored, and I can’t believe how fast they all went! Seeing this, and hearing the excitement in your voices makes me feel more motivated than ever to work on my photography. So, thank you! The film is at the lab right now. I can’t wait to share it with you!

These are the digital photos I shot at Sand by the Ton. There was a beach party inside the American Steel warehouse in Oakland. We danced with sand under our feet. False Profit's Carbon Garden decorated the Symbiosis stage. There was fire and swimming pools. Circus acts. Music. Familiar sculptures. Good friends. All of it was beautiful.

More photos to come once the film is developed.

Also check out photos by others:
Scott Beale at Laughing Squid
Mikest
Hyperborea.